New Mom, you need to hear this right now
As a new mom, I often wished I had someone to talk to and hold me through some of the hardest periods of my early motherhood journey. There were questions that seemed to have no answers, days that seemed to have no end, emotions that felt like I will never recover from. I know you are reading this because you feel the same or know someone who needs to hear this today. Giving ourselves time is the most neglected part of being a new mom.
Motherhood is the most dynamic and demanding role you will ever play but its also one that’s most rewarding.
It took me three years to realize some of the thoughts below but I believe you as a new mom can use the wisdom of hindsight. It’s hard to push through the new changes, but take it one day at a time and soon you will see time doing the magic it does.
So, here it goes…
- You hold in your arms a little, fragile human who is completely dependent on you. You feel responsible for her, but don’t beat yourself up if the love seems to be missing.
Love takes time, remember? Even though you can’t imagine your own mother not loving you at some point, you will get there too. Your heart will feel like it will burst with all the love you hold in there for your child. Give yourself time.
- You are nostalgic about the old days of freedom. Maybe you miss your job and friends. You envy what they can still do and you can’t. Your life changed, but you can’t yet decide if its for the better or for worse.
Listen, it’s ok to miss the old parts you loved. But a new part has also just begun. Acceptance takes time. Change is hard but soon you will start to enjoy this phase. You will find new friends in the same boat and your old friends will catch up too. Give yourself time.
- You can’t seem to hold onto your dreams. Every day they seem to be slipping through your fingers. Some of them lost their meaning and you don’t know why. You are not sure if you should have dreams of your own anymore.
Remember, you are the architect of your own dreams so you can still build new ones. Dreams don’t come with retirement age. You will once again be able to go behind them, if only you keep the spark alive. Give yourself time.
- You failed at another attempt in getting back into your old jeans. Your weight isn’t too far from the pre-baby number and yet something is quite not right. Your body doesn’t feel your own.
Remind yourself, that your body did something as amazing as nurturing a new life. It’s forever changed in some ways but it is still your own. Respect it, care for it and remember your child loves the feel of you just the way you are. Give yourself time (and get a new pair that fits you instead of you fitting it)
- You can’t seem to understand why none of the parenting advice seems to be working for you. After yet another meltdown, you end up feeling lonely and clueless about this motherhood thing. You aren’t even sure if you are a good mother.
Listen, don’t beat yourself up. Each child is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all manual for raising good kids. Observe, apply, and keep trying. All you can control is keeping your fingers crossed, hope they don’t turn out too bad. You got this. Give yourself time.
- Last but not the least, YOU WILL GET TO SLEEP AND POOP ALONE AGAIN…Someday!
All moms are different and are trying their best. Your motherhood story is never going to be exactly the same as other mom’s you know. But you are the queen and you get to rule it your way.
I stand for your efforts and I salute you that you choose to show up even at your hardest days. If anyone ever told you that raising kids was easy, they are lying through their teeth. It’s the hardest, often unacknowledged, slow rewarding, longest time job that you will do in your life. But do it well anyway because when the time comes, you will make yourself proud.
If you have any pearls of wisdom for new moms, please do share in the comments below.
If there are any specific issues you would like me to talk about in your motherhood journey, please leave me a comment and I will try my best to address it.